One Step At a Time

Day 12/365

I promise I will not turn this into a weight loss blog! However, I do want to use my 365 to really document what is going on in my life. Today what is going on is "Project Get Fit Day 2."

As I watched the biggest loser tonight (yes I do), I cried. Not so much for those strangers, although a tear or two was for them, but more for myself. I could empathize with each and everyone of those people. I have felt what they feel.

I have this little devil sitting on my shoulder right this minute yelling at me that I have thought these things before. I have promised myself to make changes before. I have given myself deadlines, strict diets, and exercise schedules only to fail over and over and over.

But then I also have a little angel sitting on the other side that is whispering softly and quietly that I can do anything I want to do. I choose how I want to live my life. I can make that choice at any time. All those starts and stops where just practice getting me ready for THIS TIME. This time when I will not fail. This time when I will find me again.

I have never liked loud, pushy people. I don't like this little devil guy. I think I'm going to kick him out of my mind. I choose NOW!



Ohh, and this is my very first B&W in my 365 which is really strange because I love B&W.

Numbers Don't Lie

Day 9/365

I have noticed lately that my clothes are getting too tight. At first I tried to blame it on my new dryer. Which really is ridiculous considering it has a sensor and stops when the clothes are dry. But anyone who has ever gained weight understands how you will try to justify that extra snuggness (is that even a word?) in your waistband.

I haven't been on scales in several months. It's actually been so long that I don't remember when the last time I got on them was. Taking this shot was the first time I have actually seen the numbers to go along with the pinching clothing. Maybe it's just because I'm a math person, but the numbers really get to me. I don't think I have ever been this large. Maybe when I went into labor, but even then I don't think so.

I have struggled with weight-loss most of my adult life. In the last few years it has been a battle I have only fought in small burst. I'm always too busy to eat healthy or work out. I'm always going to start on Monday. Even when I do start, I will last a few weeks then fall off the wagon.

The weight doesn't come off as easy as it used to. Not that it has ever been easy for me, but it was easier in my twenty's. I have to do something about this now. I have friends actually say to me that I'm fine the way I am. They are slender people. They don't know how it feels to try on clothes and nothing fits right.

I also have to do it for my daughter who has already developed my bad eating habits. I don't want her to have to deal with this her entire life.

When I decided to take this shot for my 365, my intention was to blur out the numbers. But maybe showing my weight to the world will push me into doing something about it.